Let's do launch

By GARY HERRON/OBSERVER STAFF REPORTER
Published on Friday, February 23, 2007 3:23 PM MST

OK, the title is misleading, to begin with.

"The Astronaut Farmer" isn't a movie about a farmer that decides to become an astronaut, it's actually about a guy whose last name is Farmer. The title should probably be "The Astronaut, Farmer."

Charles Farmer, portrayed by Billy Bob Thornton, is really a rancher.

I got a chance to see the movie's premiere last week - it opened nationally on Feb. 23 - and wasn't impressed.

It was entertaining; it did have its moments, but it's not one that I'd tell people "You've just got to go see it," like I did for "We Are Marshall."

"We Are Marshall" was based on a true story; "The Astronaut Farmer" is based on a fantasy and simply unbelievable.

As I've said before, the mark of a good movie for me is whether or not I'd get it on DVD so I could watch it anytime.

Also bear in mind I'm not your typical movie-reviewer or even typical adult.

Among the movies I have on DVD are the "Austin Powers" trilogy, "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" and "Fast Times at Ridgemont High," so I'm not even classy, by any means. (Oh, behave.)

"If we don't have dreams, we have nothing," is the basic motto for the movie.

I'm sure you've seen the promos on TV by now, where Billy Bob is telling a suit-wearing committee, that, no, he isn't building a WMD because if he was, they wouldn't be able to find it, and everyone - from the FBI to the media to the townspeople - know he's building a rocket.

Here's the thing: Dreams are one thing, but they should be attainable and realistic.

As the movie goes along, we learn Farmer had been in the Air Force and training to be an astronaut when his father killed himself and he returned home to run the family ranch.

He somehow manages to buy some old surplus parts and builds a rocket in his barn.

His 15-year-old son, named Shepard after America's first man that went into space, is the launch director.

He eventually gets the thing launched but is nearly killed. Of course he recovers and, despite having told his wife to get rid of his old rocket, she encourages him to live his dream.

He builds another rocket and, if we can believe the movies, it doesn't take as long as you'd think.

He soon launches again, this time successfully, and even accomplishes something NASA never has: a hard landing.

Let's face it: Astronauts need better promotion, especially after that wacky female astronaut Lisa Nowak, got major headlines after putting on a diaper and driving 900 miles to confront a rival for another 'naut's attention. I'm not sure if Billy Bob was wearing one when he climbed into his capsule.

Fittingly, just as that incident didn't miss Jay Leno's attention and wisecracks, neither does Charles Farmer: Leno cracks wise about him before he launches, then has Farmer sit next to him after his successful flight.

"The Astronaut Farmer," then, is much like "Field of Dreams," without Shoeless Joe.

The movie also stars Bruce Dern, looking a lot like Christopher Lloyd in "Back to the Future," and Bruce Willis, this time with hair.

Of course, both of those guys have been into space before: Dern in the interesting "Silent Running" and Willis in "Armageddon."

Truth be told, the movie only has a happy ending because Dern dies.

The money he leaves behind for Farmer's wife is all that keeps them from losing the ranch.

And, as Elton John's "Rocket Man" plays in the background - I wonderer why David Bowie's "Space Oddity" didn't make it - the credits roll, along with Leno and Billy Bob (er, Farmer) chatting on the set of the "Tonight Show."

Interestingly, the movie was filmed in New Mexico but, just like "The Longest Yard," is set in Texas.

What filmmakers have against setting a story in our state is beyond me.

But you'll recognize the landscape as New Mexico, with chollas and mountain and a scene that appears to have been shot in the Jemez.

Wait till it gets to the "dollar show," which is where you can go see "We Are Marshall" now.

GARY HERRON covers sports and education for The Observer and did he forget to mention that he also owns Kevin Costner's "Field of Dreams," which he's watched countless times?

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